10 Ways to Know That You Have a Teenager in the House

Based on personal experience, here’s my top ten ways to know that you have a teenager in the house:

  1. They’ll complain that there’s “nothing to eat,” and that there’s never any food in the fridge – even after you’ve just got back from the shops.
  2. They’ll sleep until noon, moan all day about how tired they are, and then stay up half the night texting their friends, scrolling through Instagram and watching 42 YouTube videos.
  3. You can’t remember what colour their bedroom carpet is any more due to the mountain of clothes on it, despite the washing basket that you bought for them and is still empty.
  4. They act like they don’t need you until they want a meal cooked, a lift somewhere or money.
  5. They can eat a three-course meal (after copious amounts of snacks) and still be hungry 20 minutes later. 
  6. They know everything about technology, and talk about it in a way that loses you, yet they don’t know how to turn the dishwasher or washing machine on.
  7. You worry – about everything – far more than you ever thought you would.
  8. They take 30-minute showers and then forget to put deodorant on.
  9. When they tell you they have cleaned their room (after you have nagged for days), it really means they just shoved all their stuff in their wardrobe and under the bed.
  10. They’ll refuse to wear a coat in the middle of Winter because they’re ‘too cool’.
10 Ways to Know That You Have a Teenager in the House

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